Mind the Gap! The space between who we are and who we want to be

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see someone that you love, someone that you respect, someone who you feel is living their best life?

Or do you see something less than you were looking for?

If you do, then you are just like a HUGE number of people who feel the same way….including me a few years ago.

You see, I have been trying to work out what it is I do….and yes, I know that sounds crazy but stay with me here….what it is I do to help people. I felt driven to define the work I do, beyond the catch-all term of “coach”.

Figuring it out

It has taken me weeks to work it out and it all seemed to fall into place when I stumbled across the words “mind the gap”.

This probably still isn’t making much sense so let me explain.

When we look in the mirror, we should find ourselves facing someone that we love unconditionally and who we respect entirely. If we see someone in the reflection that isn’t quite what we want to see then there is something missing – and this is what I have come to regard as the gap!

My role is to help people work out what the gap is, work out how to narrow that gap and make a plan that achieves it. There is more to it than just a simple statement of intent – obviously it takes work and commitment from both me and the person I am working with in order to achieve a gapless existence, but this is fundamentally what I do.

A Theory with Limitations

This is probably a good moment to clarify that this “gap” theory of mine does not extend to cosmetic issues. If you look in the mirror and see a nose that you hate, that isn’t a practical gap that can be narrowed in a practical way. I can assure you that your nose is just perfect for your face and that frankly, you are perfect and beautiful exactly as you are, and I can even help you to come to terms with your nose through changing how you think about it – but I can’t change your nose!

But the gap theory does work for issues such as these:

  • “I wish I felt more confident”
  • “I wish I was a better person”
  • “I wish I had a better job”
  • “I need to braver and do something I love”
  • “My life is missing something and I don’t know what”
  • “I need to lose weight / get healthier and I will never do it”
  • …..etc…(the list is endless)
What do you see?

So my question to you is this – what do you see when you look into the mirror? Are you happy with the person smiling back at you?

If the answer is no, then I think maybe we need to talk. At the very least, you need to get your hands on my free “Mind the Gap – Life Assessment Worksheet” and make a start on working out what is missing from your life.

I believe that everyone should love and respect the person they see in the mirror. Next time you come face to face with your reflection, take a good look. If you are one of the lucky ones, you will love everything you see. If not, then it’s time to begin the work required to narrow that gap.

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