For many of us, Christmas is a time of joy and excitement. A warm buzz of anticipation and a sense of family or community fills us and we feel good about life.
For some people though, Christmas looms like a problem to be solved. And not always the entire thing…just elements of it. For example, you may love the gift giving and receiving. You might adore the atmosphere of love and wellbeing…but loathe the more social side of the season.
Does everyone enjoy a party?
The biggest trigger for a crisis of seasonal confidence is of course the “Work Christmas Party”. The annual get together of everyone at your place of work – perhaps with their partners. It sounds lovely to many people and let’s be honest, it can be a huge amount of fun. But it can also be an intimidating and uncomfortable experience for anyone with confidence issues.
We tend to ‘place’ people in our lives. There are boxes for family, for friends, for people we dislike, for people we love or have loved. And you can have a box for work colleagues too. It makes sense. They are a group of people who you spend a HUGE amount of your life with but for the most part but are not people who you would choose to spend any time with if there was no exchange of salary or wages involved. There is no shame in that.
So with this in mind, it isn’t hard to understand why those who feel less confident than others might find this a difficult event to attend. Many avoid it altogether. Some are dragged along by their peers and many push themselves to go and make the best of it. Because they feel they should.
The date is probably set
By now, I’m pretty sure that the majority of Christmas parties have been organised. We tend to start thinking about Christmas just after Easter these days! And there will be much excitement for lots of people as they plan what they will wear, who they will sit with for the meal, who is going to hook up with who etc. But for those of you who are still sat on the fence about going, maybe have refused to go or are going under sufferance, I want you to know this…..
I have been all three of these people. I’ve avoided parties that I could not face. I have waited until the last minute to make up my mind because I was too scared to go but didn’t want to miss out. And I have been dragged along to parties that I knew I did not want to be at – all in the name of Christmas. But as I look back now I can see clearly that the most important element of that annual dliemma should have been for me to do what I felt was right for me. Not what I felt I should do to fit in, or to be popular.
What about you?
So if you don’t want to go, don’t go. If you aren’t sure, and you can leave it and see how you feel nearer the time, go for it. And do not let anyone drag you against your better judgement. There. It’s said.
BUT – if you do want to go but feel you can’t because you aren’t cool enough, or funny enough, or thin enough, or tall enough or just not enough – then I want you to look at yourself through kinder eyes.
If you want to go – go.
Because the honest truth is that you are perfect. You are wonderful. You are unique and brilliant and you deserve to enjoy your Christmas every bit as much as those people around you.
Christmas isn’t just for skinny, funny, tall and clever people. Christmas is about spending time doing things you enjoy, with people you are comfortable to be around.
So make your decision and be comfortable with it. Don’t bow to anybody else’s expectations of you and don’t for a moment believe that you are not enough.
For an informal chat about any self confidence or self esteem issues, you are always welcome to book in for a no obligation Discovery Session.