Mind the Gap! The space between who we are and who we want to be

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see someone that you love, someone that you respect, someone who you feel is living their best life?

Or do you see something less than you were looking for?

If you do, then you are just like a HUGE number of people who feel the same way….including me a few years ago.

You see, I have been trying to work out what it is I do….and yes, I know that sounds crazy but stay with me here….what it is I do to help people. I felt driven to define the work I do, beyond the catch-all term of “coach”.

Figuring it out

It has taken me weeks to work it out and it all seemed to fall into place when I stumbled across the words “mind the gap”.

This probably still isn’t making much sense so let me explain. Continue reading “Mind the Gap! The space between who we are and who we want to be”

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Living in your comfort zone

Imagine spending thousands of pounds to build a beautiful home, that is everything your dreamed it could be….and then not living in it.  Crazy right? Now imagine the investment of time, effort and achievement that has gone into making you the person that you are today.  Are you maximising that?  Are you relaxing in your dream home?  Or are you dwelling in the safety of your comfort zone?

It’s an interesting question, and somewhat ironically, it’s one which I was required to pose to myself, when writing this (and every) article.  Writing is not my trade.  It is not something that I would list as one of my key strengths.  Putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) always feels like a pretty big risk.  Would I be good enough, could I write something worth reading?

The Comfort Zone is defined as a behavioural space where your activities and behaviours minimise stress and risk.  This is something that we should all recognise as being pertinent to at least one area of our life.  And this is because the creation of a comfort zone is a necessary choice for much of our daily lives.

But is it healthy in all aspects of life?   Continue reading “Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone”

Royal Baby Backlash – Has Kate Middleton let the side down?

Women turn on kate middleton

Who would want to be Kate Middleton today?

In the last few days, the country has been buzzing with news about the royal baby.  He arrived on Monday and faced a barrage of photographers and reporters at the tender age of less than 6 hours!

William and Kate walked out of the hospital, baby wrapped in a blanket to protect him from the breeze.  As expected Kate looked immaculate.  The reporters shouted questions, cameras flashed and everyone there got what they came for.

The following day, every newspaper carried images of the three of them, and congratulations came flooding in from across the globe.  

But then…as the dust settled…things start to turn nasty.  Social media begins to criticise Kate for looking “too good”, for setting an unrealistic benchmark for other women who have just given birth.  It gathers pace and the media begin to report it, the daytime TV picks it up and presenters share their own post-birth pictures to reinforce the point.

And all of this forces me to ask the question – why the backlash? Continue reading “Royal Baby Backlash – Has Kate Middleton let the side down?”

How to be Kind to Yourself – Five Top Tips to take care of you

How to be Kind to Yourself - Five Top Tips to take care of youWe are all so busy these days, running here and there, worrying about our children or our partners, our parents or employers.  There is so much pressure to be something to so many people and it is often far too easy to forget about ourselves in the midst of all that chaos.

The sad fact is that when you ask someone who they love most in the world, they will rarely mention themselves in the top 20 of who they list.

We can trudge along like this for weeks, maybe even months.  But eventually there will come a moment when you truly feel in your heart that you need to look after you – even just for a moment.

To put you first.  Be kind to yourself.

And there is no shame in it.  In my opinion, we should always take care of ourselves in order to ensure that we are the strongest we can possibly be to look after those around us that we care about.

So how can you do it.  How can you be kind to yourself? Continue reading “How to be Kind to Yourself – Five Top Tips to take care of you”

Negative Self Talk – Practical Steps to Silence Your Inner Critic

beating negative self talkFollowing on from my last post about Negative Self Talk and how to recognise it, I have been asked to take things one step further and write about how you can work on silencing the self talk and reclaim your self confidence again.

It seems that this is an issue that faces many of us.  And it is limiting and in some cases demoralising.  Support to overcome it is available – one of the things that LifeRedesign specialises in is rebuilding self esteem.  But there are steps you can take immediately that will help to alleviate the issue.

A common mistake that many people make is forced positive thinking.  This creates a sense of unachievable pressure, and leads to an immediate sense of failure.  Many well-meaning friends and family may suggest this as an action to help, but in reality, the only way to beat the negative voice within is to face it head on and challenge it.

Continue reading “Negative Self Talk – Practical Steps to Silence Your Inner Critic”

Negative Self Talk – The critical voice within and how to silence it

negative self talkSelf Talk.  We all have it.  That persistent inner voice that narrates our existence and tells us what to think and what to feel.   It can be a useful guide and motivator.  It can help us navigate a difficult path or reinforce the joy of a positive experience.  Like having your own personal cheerleader.  But what happens when that inner voice decides to turn against you?  What happens if your cheerleader decides to change team?  It’s time to learn about Negative Self Talk. Continue reading “Negative Self Talk – The critical voice within and how to silence it”

Indecision – Free yourself from procrastination and feel the joy!

indecision and procrastination I speak to a lot of people who suffer from the inability to take action.  Known as indecision or procrastination, you may recognise it as an overwhelming inability to get something done.  This is because every time you think you might do it, your mind tells you not to.

It can be subtle and you might not even realise it, but there is something holding you back from getting a decision made, doing something that needs doing etc.

I have a tendency to procrastinate but I am making an effort to be more decisive and determined – and its making a big difference to my life!  Making lists and working through them means that things get done and I feel far less burdened by “stuff”.

I was talking to a client last week and the perfect analogy occurred to me and since then, I have used it a few times on  different, indecision-suffering clients (and my husband!) and with a good response.  So I thought I would share it with you…. Continue reading “Indecision – Free yourself from procrastination and feel the joy!”

A journey into Chronic Pain – What led me to Empowerment Coaching

chronic painHaving written a few blog posts about what I do, it seems to me that it is about time I shared a little about myself.  It’s time to share  what drives me, what inspires me.  It’s pretty simple really – chronic pain (Yes, I know the title of the article was a major spoiler…sorry).

Up until 2013, my life was pretty text-book ordinary.  I had a great job, that I loved even though I acted like I didn’t.  I had a big house, a sports car, nice clothes in a dress size I was pretty happy with, a cute son and a fulfilling marriage.  The picture that accompanies this post is me back in the days when this was my life.

2013 was a difficult year.  I found three breast lumps that eventually turned out to be nothing to worry about.  Four men broke into our home whilst we slept upstairs on the eve of our anniversary.  By November I was signed off with stress and depression and I started to experience abdominal pain. Continue reading “A journey into Chronic Pain – What led me to Empowerment Coaching”

Christmas Party Season – Should I stay or should I go?

christmas party seasonFor many of us, Christmas is a time of joy and excitement.  A warm buzz of anticipation and a sense of family or community fills us and we feel good about life.

For some people though, Christmas looms like a problem to be solved.  And not always the entire thing…just elements of it.  For example, you may love the gift giving and receiving.  You might adore the atmosphere of love and wellbeing…but loathe the more social side of the season.

Does everyone enjoy a party?

The biggest trigger for a crisis of seasonal confidence is of course the “Work Christmas Party”.  The annual get together of everyone at your place of work – perhaps with their partners.  It sounds lovely to many people and let’s be honest, it can be a huge amount of fun.  But it can also be an intimidating and uncomfortable experience for anyone with confidence issues. Continue reading “Christmas Party Season – Should I stay or should I go?”

Considering a Life Coach – Here’s what to expect and why

life coach top tenFollowing on from an earlier post about why people might want to use a Life Coach, I thought it would be useful to outline what to expect from a coach.  Many people aren’t clear on what a coach does, how it works or what to expect.  Hopefully this ten point list will help to clarify things: Continue reading “Considering a Life Coach – Here’s what to expect and why”